The Outbid
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Top 3
“Elon, you’ve built PayPal, Tesla and SpaceX — congrats on founding three companies and still being a fucking rich toddler with a rocket. At 55 you’re married with 12 kids yet spend your time slinging Dogecoin like Monopoly money and tweeting nonsense that ruins tech PR departments for a living. You say you want to change the world; what you really want is to be the billionaire mad scientist whose legacy is a colonised Mars and a planet full of confused ex-employees.”
🔥 App roast: “For a company obsessed with Mach speeds, your website loads with the urgency of a constipated sloth, featuring a PageSpeed score so fucking pathetic it makes a dial-up connection look like Starlink. The design is just a dark, edgy void of full-bleed rocket porn meant to distract from the fact that the navigation is as non-existent as Elon’s self-restraint on X. It’s not a functional interface; it’s a $200 billion screensaver for a man who thinks "vibe coding" is a legitimate substitute for a usable fucking menu.”
